Summer is here, and it’s that time again: strange conventions, and even stranger visual aftermath. After the success of last year’s Pix Plox series, I’ve fired up the camera, and will soon be bringing to you more deviant hijinks.

Cheetoh Fornication is only the beginning. Watch for it!

Behold, Dimitri: A guy who feels he is God’s Gift to Women, and is not afraid to make his targets keenly aware of it. He’s so sure of it, in fact, that he regards a call from him as a true privilege that only a select few women are graced with.

Now, thanks to the wonders of modern technology, and the gracious voicemail contributions from one of his would-be mates, you can hear for yourself while it’s the masses who don’t get a call from Dimitri who are truly the lucky ones:

Audio: Dimitiri calls Olga, Parts 1 and 2
Duration: 4 minutes, 27 seconds
2.1MB MP3 File.

For those who want to read along: the transcript is here.

Now, you too can go forth and leave rambling messages on women you think are hot. And get a restraining order slapped on your sorry ass in record time.

No doubt about it: New York local TV news just plain sucks. The production is ridiculous, the content is lacking, the motivation is all about scaring people into watching the upcoming story and “staying tuned…” and then there’s gems like this one.

(Note: the zingers start up around 55 seconds into the clip, but if you’re really interested in the dramatic life of New York slumlords and tenants, by all means, watch the whole thing…)

This isn’t quite the bombshell that Sue Simmons dropped just a couple weeks back, but it’s still damned entertaining watching two old salts verbally duke it out on live TV.

Every summer, I tag along with my friends Onezumi and Harknell as they proceed on their quest to dominate the whole Webcomic Scene. So far, they have the East Coast covered, which makes for easy travel and excellent photo ops.

This is especially true considering that while some of the time, Onezumi isn’t quite like her character in her comic, it is possible to catch her at the right moment (and Harknell in the corresponding fit of despair).

There will be more OMGWTF moments to come throughout the summer. Particularly when our annual Anthrocon Invasion happens. We may even get jiggy with a Penguin!

So with that, enjoy the pics from the first of the summer conquests, Balticon 2008: Curmudgeonly Sci-Fi Fuddy-Duddies meet “New Media” Asspoop Maven.

Also: Additional guest appearances by the authors of Sex, Drugs & June Cleaver, and In His Likeness. View and enjoy.

Pics after the cut:

Oh yeah, version 2.0 of the iPhone is expected to be unveiled today. The Apple Product cycle begins again…

The frenzy has begun. Already, Butthurt and OHNOES have ensued on the discussion forums. And I play the role of: The Forum Troll.

UPDATE: In case you haven’t figured it out by now, the announcement is here. 3G iPhone, $199 for the 8GB model, $299 for the 16GB model. Release date in the US is July 11. Apple fanboys everywhere (myself included) must pine for one until then.