In case you’re sitting there, annoyed at your balky iPhone, or otherwise annoyed by the challenges of modern technology, please watch the following video. It pretty much sums up what I’ve been thinking as of late:
The comedian is Louis C.K. and he’s VERY funny.
If you’re out there standing in line for an iPhone, or freaking out over alleged iPhone 4 defects, I have a few things to say.
Don’t panic.
This is the fourth time this cyclical hysteria has happened. It never fails. In the end, the blog posts about it die off, the bloggers and “analysts” get bored and find some other shiny thing to speculate about whether x chip was manufactured incorrectly or not or whether x company did their launch right, no massive recall of “defective” iPhones ever occurs, and yet somehow the vast majority continue to use their iPhones just fine. Life goes on.
Soon, there will be tales of people who’ve exchanged their iPhone 4s a half-dozen times or more after finding some teensy quirk that drives them OCD-crazy, and don’t get the hint after the 9001st exchange that their expectations on hyper-perfection will simply not be realized. I guarantee it: this happens every time and ends up amounting to nothing. Though, it might take a bit longer this time around for exchange unit inventory to populate the stores.
I think the best advice anyone can give people who are waiting in line, obsessing over defects, or doing any of the other classic iPhone-launch-OCD behaviors, is to just relax, and chill a bit. All these lines that have formed, and most the complaints about network performance tend to ultimately rest on the fact that so many people are obsessing about this particular piece of expensive metal and glass. At the end of the day, it’s just not that important.
And if you’re one of those people who are about to fire back with “WELL FOR A $599 DEVICE IT BETTER BE PERFECT!!” – then you’re exactly the demographic I’m talking to. You’re parting with hundreds of dollars and you’re incredibly stressed over it. Is itworth $599 and all this hassle to not be happy?
It took me being separated from my iPhone – and having no mobile device to speak of – for a week and half to come to that realization. It’s amazing how being unplugged for a while resets your mindset, and helps you be way less stressed over things. The iPhone is an amazing tool and I still wouldn’t prefer to leave it behind, but I’m not not going to let it rule my life, nor will I deprive myself of sleep to stand in an outrageously long line and probably (not) get one.
Relax. You’ll get your iPhone in good time. There are more important things in life.
One thing that really annoys me about the tattered state of civil rights in the US is how technology is being used by law enforcement as a means to short-circuit basic privacy protections. Flying under the banner of things like “Homeland Security,” the common excuse seems to be made these newfangled desktop and mobile computer-machines don’t operate like the old, analog, physical things that used to replace them, and so somehow, this means the existing laws don’t apply. Sadly, it also seems like lawmakers are in no rush at all to make it clear that our Fourth Amendment Rights apply whether or not our belongings are stashed in a physical box, or whether they’re accessible via a keyboard or touch screen.
The latest arena for the battle for your privacy is your cell phone, and so far, law enforcement is on the offensive here.
It’s over folks. The age of civilian air travel is coming to an abrupt end. It’s time to mothball our jets, shut the airlines, and go back to trains and ocean liners as our primary means of long distance travel. The United States as a country simply cannot fly anymore.
Why? Because of terrorism you ask? No, not because of terrorism. It’s because we’ve become a nation of panicky pussies. That’s why.
To be sure, on Christmas day 2009, a terroristdid try – we think – to blow up a plane. Hiding a syringe with chemicals and incendiary devices in his underwear, he ignited his payload as the flight he was one prepared to land in Detroit. The only immediate casualties, fortunately, were his crotch and – we hope – his ability to procreate. In this case, Darwin may haveprevailed.
Shortly thereafter though, I realized that one other casualty resulted from this incident: our common sense. It started right away with Republicans and politicians in Washington. Rather than actually caring about the safety of the public and working towards learning from this experience to see how we can adapt reasonably and safely to this threat, if it IS a threat, they chose to pounce on this as a media stunt and politcal scare tactic. That’s right, because some silly Nigerian chose to roast his crotch on a flight, to them this clearly meant that Obama failed us.
So, while Washington was busy wrestling with that idea and preferring to focus on the potential political fallout of whether “the system” was working or not, the people who are allegedly tasked with protecting the public good and safety basically stopped focusing on protecting the public’s good and safety. Inevitably, this means “the system” that everyone was so busy arguing about has pretty much begun to break down all on its own anyway. That left the general public with the impression that they must now pretty much fend for themselves on the matter.
The result? Now we must get molested before we board an airplane, even though it probably won’t help the situation anyway. We now also have to deal with air travel being more erratic and unpredictable than before, ranging from the cut off of internet access and other in-flight amenities, to denying passengers the use of bathroom facilities. Because we all know that terrorists won’t possibly consider blowing up the plane if they will be denied those last couple minutes of facebook-time, or are unable to take a leak before the big moment, right?
Of course, none of these measures really add to the security of the flights. The hope, everyone agrees, is that maybe it’ll just help people feel a little safer, even though we’ve already told them, through the powers of twitter, cable TV news and the iReport, that these measures are fruitless and ineffective.
I’ve spent the wee talking about just some of the less-obvious things, actions and people I hate “in this economy.” So what do I think people should be doing about it? For me, the answers seem fairly straightforward:
No actually, I will believe it. Because I heard it too. See, I read the news, check CNN, watch TV and live video feeds, catch up on articles on my iPhone. I probably know as much about the next Big Crisis as you do. Or at the very least, I know all I want to know. So please, quit assuming I’m an illiterate doof, and stop expecting me to act surprised.
So, consider this: we all get it. You’re pissed off. We’re all pissed off, and life sucks. Get over it, and get busy finding ways to make your life a little better.
In keeping with point #2, if you’re laid off and indignant about it, go focus that indignation on finding a new job. In the meantime, there’s a good, productive guide to surviving a layoff that might help you out.
In the meantime, consider the following: you might find it useful to vent at banks and large corporations getting handouts now, but don’t make an ass of yourself over it. No one wants to see that. Besides, some of these very faceless corproations you’re having a fit over now might very well be signing your paycheck in the coming months. Won’t that be embarrassing?
This needs to be economic mantra way more than “where’s my bailout?” The economy isn’t going to get better if we automatically assume someone else is going to take care of us. Not to mention, a lot of people are doing some pretty irrational things and assuming their situation is a lot worse than it is… sometimes begetting self-fulfilling prophecies.
The economy is based on psychological constructs, and thus it crashed almost solely because people panicked. Oil is till oil. Food is still food. Cars are still cars. Money is still money. And yet, people perceive needing more or less of things. And this is the ONLY reason why prices or demand for them have gone drastically up or down over the past year.
People still need, food, oil, houses, cars, and money. People will still be needed in some capacity to make, sell, and fix these things. Things will get better. It’ll just take longer if we continue to refuse to acknowledge it.
