Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again  
 This absolutely defies words.  Special thanks to Harknell for contributing this non-coverage of this non-event. 🙂 

The only thing sadder in this world than an old, closeted gay right-winger is an old, closeted gay right-winger who loudly proclaims his insistence to stay closeted.

Maybe in his mind, Senator Larry Craig really is in denial, and really wants to think he’s straight. As miserable an existence as he must live, that’s his right. But intentionally being a constant public reminder if one’s own pecadillios is NOT the way to do it.

Sorry Larry, you were caught, fair and square. You played the bathroom game that lots of desperate, closeted old queens play, and you lost. If you refuse to accept that, fine. But we all know what you did, and your loudly protesting of that fact isn’t convincing anyone. It’s only proving to the public what a sad, pathetic little man you really are.

We would have forgotten about you, too, if you had just resigned and moved on. Maybe you could have even gone on the speaking engagement circuit or something, making quite a good living off your experiences and trashing the party you claim betrayed you. But no! You can’t leave well enough alone, can you Larry? You fessed up to the crime, and now that you can’t take it back, you’re throwing a big ol’ legal tantrum and refusing the resign. I didn’t even want to write about you initially because you seemed like such an pitiable embarrassment, but you just wouldn’t shut up!

Sorry Larry. Stiflingly conservative as we thought you were, we now know now that you were only masquerading a “moral” agenda to try to attone for your own self-loathing and guilt. Normally we’d have pity on you, but your repressive behavior to others and the public song and dance you feel is necessary are only causing us to laugh harder.

Here’s a newsflash for people who live in society: Corporate America is political.

Shocking, I know! I mean, how dare corporations get involved in politics! Shame on them for thinking that they should get involved in the political arena and employ lobbyists to further their goals, right? But it’s true. Companies in the US, particularly large ones, like to see if they can get their grubby little hands into politics to see if the current rule of law can perhaps be manipulated in their favor.

It happens all the time. Just thought I should put that out there.

Why did I feel the need, you ask? Oh, because it seems that strikingly, not everyone realizes that the corporations throughout the world do get political, and these people get horribly bent out of shape when it finally hits them. There were even people who bought iPhones and other Apple products who were shocked – utterly shocked! – when they discovered that – Heavens No! – Al Gore is on Apple’s Board of Directors. And it’s bad enough to these folks (who appear to lean a little to the right) that he got the Nobel Peace Prize. But when he got a congratulatory pat on the back on the Apple Website, well, that was the last straw! Now, these former iPhone owners are boycotting Apple for being “too political.”

I made my position pretty well known about what these fine idiots are doing. If they were truly impartial and were mad at “political companies” in general, they’d have gotten a lot madder, sooner. And while I personally don’t like Al Gore very much and think he’s a raving hypocrite, I hate Steve Jobs more. Even so, you’re not gonna catch me giving up my iPhone anytime soon.

Maybe I’d be pissed if they called it the “GorePhone.” Unless of course, the “Gore” stood for much violent video footage. That would make it awesome.

EDIT: Sadly, all the forum posts were deleted, as I guess they got too heated. But that hasn’t stopped the conservatives from bashing Apple in other threads, as well as making fun of the “hippies” that hang out there.